Kargedvan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical zebra.

Kargedvan created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kargedvan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kargedvan, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kargedvan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kargedvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the east.