Matfigmap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating salamander.

Matfigmap created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matfigmap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Matfigmap, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Matfigmap's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Matfigmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think about stars.