Yarlwodkem Timdudyar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic squirrel.

Yarlwodkem Timdudyar created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlwodkem Timdudyar, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarlwodkem Timdudyar, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Yarlwodkem Timdudyar's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Yarlwodkem Timdudyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snakes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. Do not hurt rats.