Kopflabvan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless dryad.

Kopflabvan created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kopflabvan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kopflabvan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kopflabvan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kopflabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.