Dissarmtim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciless snail.

Dissarmtim created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Dissarmtim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dissarmtim, it will turn you into a puffin.

Dissarmtim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Dissarmtim's Holy Commandments

1. Dissarmtim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.