Nelbabfud is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, clever squirrel.

Nelbabfud created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelbabfud, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nelbabfud, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Nelbabfud's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nelbabfud's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet birds, for they are unholy.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Eagles are not to be trusted.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.