Nurldimarpgovyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, sage jackal.

Nurldimarpgovyatt created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurldimarpgovyatt, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurldimarpgovyatt, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nurldimarpgovyatt's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nurldimarpgovyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying bone.

2. Nurldimarpgovyatt loves voles, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed bananas to great tits while wearing violet ear rings.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Always act with patience when addressing priests.