Jathaksaf is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable crane.

Jathaksaf created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jathaksaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jathaksaf, it will turn you into a mouse.

Jathaksaf's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Jathaksaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near horses while wearing indigo boots.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Heed all signs.