Nibyartvonkcep is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable wyrm.

Nibyartvonkcep created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibyartvonkcep, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nibyartvonkcep, it will turn you into a goat.

Nibyartvonkcep's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Nibyartvonkcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the west.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.