Gemzimcudcepwaphom is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful donkey.

Gemzimcudcepwaphom created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Gemzimcudcepwaphom, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gemzimcudcepwaphom, he will try to impress you with trees.

Gemzimcudcepwaphom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gemzimcudcepwaphom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about gravity near eagles while wearing mauve rings and balancing four carbon spheres on your head.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.