Bomtarpdod is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain penguin.

Bomtarpdod created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bomtarpdod, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bomtarpdod, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bomtarpdod's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bomtarpdod's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Bomtarpdod loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about dark energy near goats while wearing purple coats and balancing six platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.