Bepjamstip is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, kind wolf.

Bepjamstip created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepjamstip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bepjamstip, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bepjamstip's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bepjamstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not prepare garlic while filled with envy.

3. Never touch water while unclean.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never eat bark.