Yattvantap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, weak armadillo.

Yattvantap created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattvantap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yattvantap, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yattvantap's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Yattvantap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near nematodes while wearing white trousers and balancing five silver spheres on your face.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Put Yattvantap first in all things.