Flapdobfud is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy mole.

Flapdobfud created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapdobfud, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flapdobfud, he will be mildly annoyed.

Flapdobfud's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Flapdobfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near voles while wearing orange scarves and balancing four silver spheres on your neck.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flapdobfud.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.