Dinnelfad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonourable faun.

Dinnelfad created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinnelfad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dinnelfad, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dinnelfad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dinnelfad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Worship no other gods but Dinnelfad.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near mites while wearing gray coats and balancing seven copper spheres on your legs.