Quartdobgam is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering wren.

Quartdobgam created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartdobgam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quartdobgam, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Quartdobgam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Quartdobgam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a giant white sculpture of Quartdobgam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed gooseberries to hamsters while wearing tights.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Respect your elders.