Gessmum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful wasp.

Gessmum created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessmum, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gessmum, it will destroy your home solar system.

Gessmum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gessmum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always help dolphins.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.