Lendonnil is a god.

He takes the form of a small, ruthless lobster.

Lendonnil created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lendonnil, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lendonnil, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lendonnil's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Lendonnil's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never eat peas.