Kadlapflam is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, wise swan.

Kadlapflam created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadlapflam, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kadlapflam, it will turn you into a puffin.

Kadlapflam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kadlapflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Never gather nine capybaras in one place.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Do not record signs concerning black holes.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.