Flamgomgudcangepbed is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, pitiless parrot.

Flamgomgudcangepbed created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamgomgudcangepbed, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flamgomgudcangepbed, he will ignore you.

Flamgomgudcangepbed's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Flamgomgudcangepbed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.