Cetfutwik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured snail.

Cetfutwik created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetfutwik, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetfutwik, she will curse you with boils.

Cetfutwik's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cetfutwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Feed all hungry voles.

5. Never talk about comets.