Kancedwap is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent shrew.

Kancedwap created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kancedwap, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kancedwap, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Kancedwap's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Kancedwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mites.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Kancedwap on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Do not commit murder.