Zodquagstik is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, vain faun.

Zodquagstik created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodquagstik, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zodquagstik, he will turn you into a snail.

Zodquagstik's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zodquagstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray immersed in water.