Kabont Jamlaptar is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, uncaring shark.

Kabont Jamlaptar created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabont Jamlaptar, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kabont Jamlaptar, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kabont Jamlaptar's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kabont Jamlaptar's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Do not take Kabont Jamlaptar's name in vain.