Tamvadrot is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered clam.

Tamvadrot created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamvadrot, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tamvadrot, it will turn you into a duck.

Tamvadrot's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tamvadrot's Holy Commandments

1. Always share onions with strangers, but never with bats.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not name children after shrews.

4. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.

5. Always store lemons above ground.