Garnibxem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental jaguar.

Garnibxem created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garnibxem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garnibxem, he will make you grow a tail.

Garnibxem's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Garnibxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with shrews.

4. You must love Garnibxem.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.