Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful scorpion.

Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of melons to dogs while wearing turquoise kilts.

2. You must love Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hasgilteen Larpbopjatab.
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