Rilgompid Teenvigciss is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, dishonest gerbil.

Rilgompid Teenvigciss created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Rilgompid Teenvigciss, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rilgompid Teenvigciss, it will turn you into a duck.

Rilgompid Teenvigciss' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Rilgompid Teenvigciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of geese.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rilgompid Teenvigciss.

4. Never mention snakes.

5. Never hurt monkeys.