Tafgabzag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tiresome toad.

Tafgabzag created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafgabzag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tafgabzag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tafgabzag's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tafgabzag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tafgabzag.

2. Never gather seven grasshopers near doors.

3. Never feed lots of bananas to monkeys while wearing purple jumpers.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tafgabzag.