Quillnarlflow is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, irritating bear.

Quillnarlflow created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillnarlflow, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quillnarlflow, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quillnarlflow's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quillnarlflow's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight birds approach from the east.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Do not commit murder.