Babmobpang is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured troll.

Babmobpang created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babmobpang, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Babmobpang, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Babmobpang's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Babmobpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Worship no other gods but Babmobpang.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.