Stanvogtit is a god.

She takes the form of a large, confident mongoose.

Stanvogtit created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanvogtit, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stanvogtit, she will turn you into a plant.

Stanvogtit's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Stanvogtit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stanvogtit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

4. Do not eat apples.

5. Never think ill of sick birds.