Bankimquag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unfair gorilla.

Bankimquag created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bankimquag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bankimquag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bankimquag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bankimquag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

2. Always help rats in need.

3. Never allow capybaras to witness sacred rites.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not stand on grass.