Hubmontad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving chicken.

Hubmontad created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubmontad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hubmontad, he will turn you into a snail.

Hubmontad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hubmontad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight sharks approach from the east.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. You must pray to Hubmontad five times a day.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.