Bogdabtim Mutcutyim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy dolphin.

Bogdabtim Mutcutyim created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bogdabtim Mutcutyim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bogdabtim Mutcutyim, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bogdabtim Mutcutyim's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bogdabtim Mutcutyim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bogdabtim Mutcutyim.

2. Never run near dogs.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

5. Never speak aloud of names.