Gumwiplad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing gorilla.

Gumwiplad created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Gumwiplad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gumwiplad, it will torture you forever.

Gumwiplad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gumwiplad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Put Gumwiplad first in all things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Hide from blue foxes for they are unholy.