Veencedvabpon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, staggering penguin.

Veencedvabpon created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Veencedvabpon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Veencedvabpon, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Veencedvabpon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Veencedvabpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Veencedvabpon.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing green shorts and balancing eight copper spheres on your back.

4. Do not hurt eagles.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.