Ortsagbedveg is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciless aardvark.

Ortsagbedveg created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortsagbedveg, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ortsagbedveg, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ortsagbedveg's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ortsagbedveg's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Always help bats.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.