Tiphabnan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring goat.

Tiphabnan created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiphabnan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tiphabnan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tiphabnan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tiphabnan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four swans approach from the west.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away from cyan manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not hurt cats.