Bastbafwonton is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful swan.

Bastbafwonton created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastbafwonton, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bastbafwonton, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bastbafwonton's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bastbafwonton's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.