Dobarfsassad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful armadillo.

Dobarfsassad created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobarfsassad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dobarfsassad, she will manifest in front of you.

Dobarfsassad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Dobarfsassad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray squirrels, for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobarfsassad.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Pray towards the east.