Flaparfsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, resourceful spider.

Flaparfsaw created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Flaparfsaw, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flaparfsaw, it will turn you into a rock.

Flaparfsaw's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Flaparfsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta ducks for they are unholy.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Always store bananas above ground.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.