Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, conceited tortoise.

Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect four titanium sculptures of Jadflanmutartmumpitdutcab on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near manatees while wearing pink hats and balancing three copper spheres on your head.