Dagarndog Hangidcepfedbamtappon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish jaguar.

Dagarndog Hangidcepfedbamtappon created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagarndog Hangidcepfedbamtappon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dagarndog Hangidcepfedbamtappon, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dagarndog Hangidcepfedbamtappon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dagarndog Hangidcepfedbamtappon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Always wear cyan.