Vedlargbin Dimragmif is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful spider.

Vedlargbin Dimragmif created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Vedlargbin Dimragmif, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vedlargbin Dimragmif, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vedlargbin Dimragmif's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vedlargbin Dimragmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

5. Do not hurt foxes.