Nelwipved is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow scorpion.

Nelwipved created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelwipved, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nelwipved, he will boil you in a big pot.

Nelwipved's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Nelwipved's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six otters approach from the north.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help dolphins.