Legtabmis is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome wyrm.

Legtabmis created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Legtabmis, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Legtabmis, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Legtabmis' most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Legtabmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Never feed lemons to foxes while wearing corsets.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Retreat if eight birds approach from the west.