Vadveenzedhin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome dog.

Vadveenzedhin created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadveenzedhin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadveenzedhin, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vadveenzedhin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Vadveenzedhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near seals.

2. Always help bats in need.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide if nine great tits approach from the west.