Artlakhim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful clam.

Artlakhim created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artlakhim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Artlakhim, he will have a low opinion of you.

Artlakhim's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Artlakhim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never hurt hamsters.

3. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never travel toward the south during winter.