Gofmumkik Funnutbig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unfair unicorn.

Gofmumkik Funnutbig created the Sombrero Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofmumkik Funnutbig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gofmumkik Funnutbig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gofmumkik Funnutbig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Gofmumkik Funnutbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.