Linsagvad is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful bird.

Linsagvad created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Linsagvad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Linsagvad, it will curse you with boils.

Linsagvad's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Linsagvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed beans to otters while wearing coats.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not kill pigs.