Sterdissquat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, resourceful human.

Sterdissquat created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterdissquat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sterdissquat, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sterdissquat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sterdissquat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must never eat garlic.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.