Nullflowmegruljam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, caring jaguar.

Nullflowmegruljam created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Nullflowmegruljam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nullflowmegruljam, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Nullflowmegruljam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nullflowmegruljam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Hide if six tortoises approach from the north.

4. Mice are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.