Ceptabced is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy penguin.

Ceptabced created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptabced, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ceptabced, it will think nothing of it.

Ceptabced's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ceptabced's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. Do not name children after tapirs.

5. Never write about comets.