Fenrillfag is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, moody bear.

Fenrillfag created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenrillfag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fenrillfag, he will turn you into a dog.

Fenrillfag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fenrillfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Fenrillfag loves seals, so they must be honoured.