Caplansanstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, idiotic weasel.

Caplansanstaf created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Caplansanstaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Caplansanstaf, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Caplansanstaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Caplansanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not hurt dolphins.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Caplansanstaf.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.